So I’m moving. For sure. Soon.
I was talking to my dad and my step mom about my plan to hopefully move with Carrot next year and we were talking about everything going on here at home and how I’m doing and feeling and such and they came up with the idea that maybe I should move back up to their place for a while. Just until next year when I move again.
They’re worried about me because I spend almost all of my time at work or at home by myself. They can tell I’m not doing so well with my current situation. As much as I’ve enjoyed living by myself I’m starting to think it’s not as good for my mental health as I thought it was. I just don’t think I’m there yet. I love the house I’m in and my room and I’m grateful for everything I’ve been given, but I’m not thriving here, I’m just barely surviving.
I emailed my grandparents today to let them know what my plan is and I’m hoping they take it well. I’m worried that they’re going to be upset. But I’m hoping they’ll understand that this is probably the best thing for me. I’ll get everything cleaned up and put away before I leave. I’ll clean up all my things and make sure everything is where it needs to be so it’s out of the way and looks nice. I’ll do what I can to show them that I appreciate everything they’ve done for me and that my leaving isn’t about them. I just hope it helps. I hate to think that they’re going to be upset about my leaving, but I can’t help going there in my head. It makes me sick to my stomach. I don’t want to do anything to upset them or hurt their feelings. But I think they’ll like it better if they have the house back where it’ll just be them. They aren’t huge fans of my dogs so I’m sure they won’t miss having them around.
I’m looking at a big change here. Sure, I’ve lived there before, but it’s different now. Things have changed. I’ve changed. The situation isn’t the same as it was before. So it’ll be interesting to see how it goes. I’m excited to start a new adventure. It’s time. I’ve been feeling restless lately, as I think I’ve mentioned a few times, so this will be good. I’m nervous about telling everyone that I’m leaving. But I think it’s what’s best for me. I hope the people in my life understand. It’s time for a change. And I’m ready.
I’m going to purge a lot of my belongings and try to pair down the things I have so I don’t have to move as much. I have a bad habit of hanging onto everything and never getting rid of anything. It’s time to stop doing that and start only keeping things that actually matter. It’s time to let things go. I have a lot of things I need to let go of. There’s a lot that has to be taken care of between now and when I go. And since I’m unsure about when I’ll actually be going I’m going to have to get started, now.