Hey Everyone,

I had a job interview on Friday. I was really really excited for it. It was for a job I actually wanted and thought I might be good at. But I’m not going to get it.

I’m qualified for the job, don’t get me wrong there, but I don’t have the personality they want. The interview they called me in for was to get a sense of who I am as a person and I’m not very good at showing people that when I first meet them. It takes me a little bit to open up.

And this interview only lasted ten minutes. How do you open up and show someone who you are in a ten minute time frame? Especially when you’re trying to get a job. It might be different if I were just meeting people for a random reason and I didn’t have to worry about how my answers might affect my future. But in a job interview, everything I say matters.

I tried. I really tried to open up to them and let them know who I am. I don’t know how well it worked. The questions they asked weren’t easy for me to answer. They wanted to know what my favorite movie and song are. I told them my favorite movie, but I don’t have a favorite song. I told them that I’m eclectic when it comes to music and my favorite song. I explained that my favorite song changes based on my mood and how I’m feeling so it could change every day or every hour. And that’s the truth.

I tried telling them I’m quiet and shy at first but that once I open up it’s hard to get me to stop. It’s true too.

The only thing I really really got to show them that gave them an idea who I am was a minute long slideshow of pictures that I’ve taken over the years of places I’ve traveled and my family. They smiled at that. But I’m sure it won’t be enough.

I spent my whole drive home thinking of things that I should have said. Things about myself that I should have shared. They wanted to get to know my personality and I didn’t know what to say to them. My personality isn’t something that can be explained. It isn’t something I know how to put into words. But these are the things I thought while driving home:

I dance in grocery store aisles and at work to music in my head
I’m only really competitive when I’m playing board games
I read a lot of crappy romance novels
I watch too much TV and get way too emotionally invested in the characters
I am mildly obsessed with my nieces
My family is the most important thing in the world to me
I want to live in New Zealand one day, for at least a year
I want to write a novel one day
I’m considering going to interior design school

There are so many things that I thought about on the way home that I should have told them about me. And I hate that I didn’t. It wasn’t all about being shy, I honestly wasn’t sure what they wanted me to tell them. I was so afraid of telling them something that would make them dislike me or think I wasn’t qualified for the job.

Now I wish I had risked it.

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