Another Nightmare

I had another nightmare last night. It makes me wonder what it is that’s causing these. They say (although I’m not totally sure who they are) that your dreams and nightmares are your subconscious trying to figure things out. It makes me wonder what my subconscious is trying to figure out because these dreams I’ve been having are so weird and kind of stressful.

So last night I dreamt that I was at an amusement park with my family. My cousin D, my mom, my sister, and my dad. This was a combination amusement park/casino/high school kind of thing. Kind of like how Circus Circus, Silver Legacy and that other casino are all connected in Reno. Anyway, my mom, sister, D and I were all in the amusement park and D and I had just gone on this really awesome zip line. We were having a great time and we were really happy. But when we got back to where my mom and sister were waiting for us my sister had been messing with my stuff, dropping my jewelry/souvenirs into some kind of hole, making them disappear. I caught her dropping a necklace and took it from her before she let it fall. I smacked her with it and started yelling at her for getting rid of my stuff for no reason.

My mom started yelling at me for hitting and yelling at my sister and my sister started crying, acting like I had beat her up. And I started crying because my mom was yelling at me and taking my sister’s side even though she had been throwing away things I had just paid for. My mom and I started yelling at each other and after a few minutes I grabbed my backpack and started running, trying to get as far away from them as possible.

I ended up running across this huge courtyard and my mom had followed me outside and was still yelling at me. Saying I was being incredibly immature and that I shouldn’t hit my sister and a bunch of other things I really don’t remember. I was sobbing. Crying. Almost in hysterics. My cousin came after me too, and she and I ended up running off on our own. We were both upset, well she was upset for me, I was just upset. We ended up on the lawn in front of the high school. It was mid day so it was sunny and warm and we sat on the grass so I could calm down.

Since it was midday a lot of the students were outside too. School had gotten out and they were all heading home. As D and I were sitting there trying to relax a girl walks over and starts poking around our stuff. And actually tries to reach in one of my backpack pockets to take something. Right in front of us. My cousin said “HEY” and startled the crap out of the girl. It was like she didn’t realize we were there. She halfheartedly apologized and said she was looking for her friend’s little bag and she had seen it in my backpack. She said it wasn’t mine and she wanted it back. I pulled out the little black and white bag she had seen and told her that it was mine and I had brought it from home.

She started to argue and I grabbed her by her face, you know how parents will put their hand under their kid’s chin and squeeze their cheeks together with their fingers? it was like that, and I got right into her face and told her that the bag was mine, I had brought it from home and it had been in my bag all day. I also told her that I clearly was not some random high school student that she could intimidate and that she needed to back the f off before I beat the crap out of her.

Clearly she backed off immediately, went to sit with her friends and continued to throw dirty looks my way for ten or fifteen minutes.

After a while my cousin went into a convenience store to grab us a couple of drinks and a bag of chips or something to share. While she was gone she met some guys, high school guys so not scary, who offered to let us kick back in their dorm room thing for a while until we decided what we wanted to do next. So we sat around, played some video games, had some snacks and chatted about the amusement park.

Things were pretty mellow after that and the dream just sort of faded out and I woke up a little bit later. I’m still feeling the effects of the dream/nightmare. I feel on edge. Upset. Sad. Frustrated.

In reality the situation that happened with my mom in the nightmare could have really happened in the real world. Which is probably part of the reason why I dreamt it, and part of the reason why I’m still sort of shook up about it.

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